Mr. Creeper and Visiting Ladyfriend on Relationships

Ever since my staff found out that I have yet to have a first kiss, the topic has found itself as the center of conversation on multiple occasions. Fortunately a few of the girls understand my perspective and recognize that I’m just waiting for the right guy to come along. They see nothing strange about not wanting to kiss some random guy on the street corner on a Saturday night. Others, however, don’t get it quite yet. One of the guys [jokingly?] considers it his obligation as a man to ensure that I have my first kiss by the end of the summer. Interactions with him have been rather awkward at times, to say the least. Other times, however, I relish the opportunity to take control of the joke (rather than be the butt of it) and tease him about his ideas of obligation and the title of “creeper” I have given him. Another person asked if I am saving my first kiss for my wedding day, perhaps a la the Duggar family of TLC’s “18 Kids and Counting”.

After last night’s duty shift and one round of mafia at 1:30 am, conversation evolved into somewhat of an interrogation consisting of question after question about kissing and relationships, all directed at me. Have you ever had a boyfriend? Would you kiss a guy who has kissed other girls before? What if he’s not a virgin? Then they started asking rather ridiculous questions specific to Mr. Creeper, who in fairness is an okay guy despite the title. Would you kiss a guy who is half-black, half-Mexican (which he isn’t. Rather the question was asked by a co-worker’s Visiting Ladyfriend, who apparently was misinformed)? What about someone who is wearing a green shirt, jeans, and Chucks the night that you kiss him?

Visiting Ladyfriend said my first kiss should just be a drunken mistake so I can get in some practice. Call me idealist or too traditional, but that’s not what I want. Her manfriend asked if I drink, to which I said no. Visiting Ladyfriend called my sobriety my “first mistake”. I accepted her comments and judgments solely for their entertainment value.

Then they proceeded to ask about my criteria for a guy I would kiss. I’m still not sure if they were asking out of curiosity or to calculate their odds of making out before the end of the summer. My mind went through my “list” – an actual written list of carefully considered qualities I’m looking for in a guy. Since I’m not planning on kissing just anybody, I suppose kissing and dating criteria are one in the same. Topping the list is strong Christian faith, no question. Cultural sensitivity is also pretty important to me, along with honesty, humor, the ability to maintain conversation, compassion, and a few other qualities.

Before the end of the night, I was called a “rarity”, an “anomaly”, and “straight out of the book” (referring to Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris, author of the ever popular I Kissed Dating Goodbye). I was presented with hypothetical (or “hypothetical” and not so subtle?) situations such as “What if you meet a guy – maybe you work with him – and you really hit it off, but he’s not an ‘active’ Christian?” There were other questions like, “Have you ever really liked a guy and been tempted to kiss him?” (to which I say, I may be conservative and traditional, but I am human. And there’s nothing inherently evil about kissing or intimacy, but rather the opposite. It’s supposed to be something special, something that I don’t want to share with just anyone). The whole conversation was rather amusing, though not entirely enjoyed, but thought-provoking at least. I was grateful for the distraction of impromptu waltz lessons that drew everyone’s attention away from the conversation at hand. I’m inclined to think I haven’t seen the end of this conversation.