Dream Journal: Disney Laser Tag and Church Calendars

In real life, my cell phone alarm went off at 6 AM. I got my phone from across the room, crawled back into bed, and started checking my Instagram feed. I came across this photo of the Tower of Terror by Daniel Cloud Campos, who also commented, “I got kicked off this ride!! Hahaha!” Shortly after reading this, I fell back asleep and woke up an hour later. Within that hour, I had this crazy dream that explained how Cloud got kicked off the Tower of Terror… among other peculiar events.

Cloud was riding the Tower of Terror, which was unlike what we’ve seen before. Instead of The Hollywood Tower Hotel, the ride consisted of Disney’s version of an African village, complete with thatch-roofed huts and khaki-colored everything. Instead of a drop down an elevator shaft, riders were equipped for laser tag. Cloud took this ride very seriously. Strapped with two laser guns (instead of just the one issued to every rider), he made his way through the “village,” ambushing women and children in the doorways of huts, taking them by surprise, knocking them out of the game – one by one. Disney personnel could see that Cloud’s… enthusiasm… was taking the pleasure out of the ride for all the kids. They asked him to leave.

Since he couldn’t stay in the park, Cloud and I, along with a few of our friends (at least that’s who they were in the dream), walked around until we stumbled upon a barbecue in a nearby church parking lot. They were setting up for the event and apparently required giant, white construction cranes to do so. This was no small production. As they finished setting up, our group found an empty corner of the parking lot to goof around and work on some dance partnering. At one point, I was definitely upside-down.

The barbecue was finally ready, and we all got into line to load our plates up with food. As we helped ourselves to potato salad, we overheard two church ladies talking. Unlike previous years, the barbecue would not bring in enough money to cover the financial needs of the church. “We need to do another fundraiser,” the one woman said to the other. After a moment of thought, the second woman replied, “Nude calendar.” We turned to each other with a look that said, “Did she really just say nude calendar?!” But we hadn’t misheard. The woman really did suggest a nude CHURCH calendar, but unlike the other woman, she didn’t seem to see the problem with that.

Dream Journal: Patrick Warburton and Baby Ruth

The morning I left Tacoma, Washington, to go home after a business trip, I had a dream about being on a business trip. How meta.

Patrick Warburton in January 2007.
Patrick Warburton in January 2007. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At the shows my company produces, we sometimes have an evening of entertainment. In the dream, the evening’s entertainment consisted of a children’s pageant. The audience performed the first number. We all stood and read off of sheet music to whistle a song, though the song was a little unfamiliar. The next piece was a Christmas play featuring Patrick Warburton as the voice of a skinny animated/animatronic Santa who was begging the reindeer to lose weight. Patrick Warburton also happened to be the father of one of the students. He came up onto the stage in the middle of the performance, quite drunk, to confess that he was a bad father. Knowing that he and the father were the same person, or at least had the same voice, Animatronic Santa looked around awkwardly, hoping the audience didn’t think he was a drunken, horrible father.

After the evening entertainment, the show was over, and it was time to clean up. I was walking through the trade show floor as vendors were breaking down booths. As my coworkers and I were leaving the building, I discovered that the trade show was actually in my parents’ church. While we waited in line to go through the door, we were telling funny stories about our coworker, Maggie. Lance said that he once bought her a shirt that said, “Puzzle Me.” He meant it as a hidden insult about her gullible nature, but she wasn’t insulted. Apparently “puzzle me” was actually her catch phrase – that, or she really loves puzzles. We soon realized that Frank, Maggie’s boyfriend, was walking behind us. He overheard our conversation, suspected we were talking about Maggie, and asked us for the name of the person we were talking about so he could then defend the honor of his girlfriend. “Umm…” Lance said. “Baby Ruth. We were talking about Baby Ruth.” We started walking faster – and then running – to our cars in the parking lot. When we got to our cars, we saw Lance punching Frank. They fought for some time, but it’s unclear who won. It was a pretty bad fight, and at one point, Frank lifted Lance off the ground.

Frank approached my car (a white minivan), not knowing I was inside. I was feeling pretty bold – and foolish – and decided to pick a fight with him. From the back seat of my minivan (where you’d find the driver’s seat in this particular model), I honked the horn at him. He turned toward the sound, saw me, and made eye contact. He reached into the front window of the car and turned the ignition (which was apparently in the front seat). He walked toward my window in the back and, without breaking eye contact, challenged me to a fight before confessing, “I can’t stop drinking.” I gun it, gas pedal to the floor, but he held onto my side mirror with a few fingers. I pulled the car over to the front of the building where there were a few people outside.

I woke up as the car possibly drove over Frank.

Dream Journal: Phil and the Fangirls

Lately I’ve been struggling to get going in the morning. I usually wake up at least an hour after my alarm clock goes off. This morning, I woke up relatively early and surprisingly well rested. I credit this feeling to the dream I had last night – and going to bed before 2 AM for once this week.

In my dream, I had sent Philip Wang (of Wong Fu Productions) a message via either Twitter or Facebook. He sent a hand-written reply on what looked like green elastic medical tape. Soon after I received his reply, I came across him in person. He remembered me from my online message, and we began talking. Though I don’t remember what my message said, he thanked me for it. It had apparently left an impression on him – enough for him to remember my name and face.

We talked for some time about my message and just about life in general. He also mentioned that he was looking to move into a new apartment. Jokingly, I offered to let him move in with me, and shockingly he seemed to be interested in the offer. “My roommate is going to be moving out in a few months anyway…” I explained.

“You have a roommate?” he asked, somewhat surprised. He continued thinking about the offer and went on to explain that he had been thinking about moving east. “I’m actually from Cincinnati,” he said. Living in California, he spent so much time away from his family and wanted to live closer to them.

At this point, we were interrupted by an airline representative who asked to see our boarding passes. Apparently we had been in an airport gate the whole time. Our passes looked slightly different, but they were for the same flight. We were both in row 8, I think. For some reason, I was a little concerned that the woman would think we were together, perhaps even married, because our seats were next to each other. Soon after the woman left, a teenage girl with a pink bedazzled Blackberry came up to us – well, up to Phil. As she asked for his phone number between nervous giggles, I remember feeling proud of myself for holding a mature conversation with Phil without getting all fan-girly (much like how I felt during their Princeton visit last April when Phil and I briefly talked about The Office).

Normally, after such a pleasant dream, I would resist waking up. However, this dream was so relatively realistic and… comfortable. I woke up without much issue, because it felt like I would wake up to find that my dream was actually reality – and if that were the case, I’d want to wake up as soon as possible.

And now I just sound like a giggly fangirl.

Phil and I at Wong Fu’s Princeton event – a girl can dream, can’t she?

Dream Journal: “Tonight on Nightline…”

You know when Nightline begins, they always have a quick segment where they preview stories from that evening’s program? Well, my dream last night was that segment. It was a series of brief clips, some starring celebrities telling scandalous or emotional stories.

I kissed Steven Tyler to release me from my fat body. – Kim Kardashian
Maybe it was Steven Tyler, maybe it was just a creepy old guy. I know he was supposed to be famous, and “Tyler” was in the name somewhere. The clip showed her getting kissed by the guy in the woods, or at least in a grove of trees on the grounds of a resort. And very reluctantly and disgustedly so.

I have an emotional relationship with cabbage. – Oprah
on location in Oprah’s private garden

Somewhere in Malaysia: Plagues were rocking a small, rural village. When it wasn’t raining urine, frogs were falling from the sky, along with worms and other creatures. The children, who had climbed trees to gather frogs, were believed to be gnomes that were also raining down on the village.

Dream Journal: Five-Part Harmony

I think it was raining for the entirety of the dream.

There was a conference going on at the local college campus. It was some kind of Christian conference called GPI, which I think stood for “Global Project Initiative.” The musical guest for the conference was David*Crowder Band, which just released a new album. I left campus to go home before the conference, and as I drove through a residential neighborhood, I saw the band rehearsing. They were spread out over several houses’ backyards, as if each band member had his own backyard. It was pouring rain, yet they stayed outside to rehearse. I didn’t think it was a good idea to be out in the rain with so much electrical equipment like amps and sound boards.

When I got to the house, several of my friends were hanging out in the driveway. My one friend and I jumped into the car to avoid the rain, but one of our other friends stayed outside and leaned against the door to keep us from getting out. “You can always go out this door,” I said to my friend, motioning to the door on my side.

We eventually got out of the car, and all of my friends were just standing around between two buildings. We were either waiting for something or just trying to kill time, because we didn’t seem to have anywhere else to be. Maybe there was music playing, or maybe someone just started singing spontaneously, but at that point we started improvising harmonies. Pretty much each person was singing a unique part so that we had at least a five-part harmony going on. I can’t remember if the song we were singing was something known from the radio or if we were making up the song on the spot.