The setting: a movie theater. I was there with some friends, including a Jason Segel-type guy. For the sake of this story, we’ll just say my friend really was Jason Segel.

In walked Justin Bieber, and he needed to go to the bathroom.

“Do you need a chaperone?” I asked him. “I can escort you to the bathroom.” The bathroom was on the other side of the theater, and he was worried about getting mobbed by teenage girls. I was worried about him getting lost and going off by himself.

“I’d rather have a guy go with me instead.” Jason Segel to the rescue!

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