Single Sunday: Question 9 Response

 

Do you have any other anecdotes/stories that speak loudly of your experience as a single adult?

I have always been “one of the guys.” As YouTube’s Rhett and Link would say, I’m in the “Friend Zone” (check out the video below for Link’s advice on how to escape the friend zone). They greet me with side hugs. One friend consistently calls me “Buddy.” The guys often talk to me about girls – problems with them, crushes on them, engagement rings for them. They talk about girls they are interested in, but I am never one of those girls.

For example, I remember sitting next to Kevin and Jeff in 6th grade. We would joke around and talk when we weren’t working, and one day the conversation was about Kevin’s recent break-up with Ali (Yes, in 6th grade. I know). He and Jeff were trying to find a rebound girlfriend, and when my name was suggested, Kevin said no. My experience as a single adult seems similar to this childhood experience. I have good relationships with guys, but they wouldn’t consider being more than just friends. I had one guy insist we were just friends when a mutual friend asked him if anything more than friendship was going on between us.

My roommate has had quite the opposite experience as a single woman. She tries to pursue friendship with guys, but they always seem to want something more. She also has a childhood story that bears similarities to her adult experience. When she was 11, she had the rare opportunity to attend summer camp. As usual, there was that one boy at camp that all the girls pine for. He was the typical blond-haired, blue-eyed, all-American boy. All the girls had a crush on him – except for my roommate. One day at the camp swimming pool, Mr. All-American’s friends approached her. “Do you like him?” they asked. She didn’t know what to think. She was afraid they were setting her up to be the butt of a joke. “No,” she flatly told them. After they walked away, her friends ran up to her saying, “What did you do? He was going to ask you out!” But she just wasn’t interested. Even though that experience was years ago, things are still very much the same for her. She just wants to be friends, but the guys want something more.

After my roommate and I shared these stories with each other, we decided to watch a movie. It seemed fitting to end our conversation with When Harry Met Sally, which I had not seen until tonight. In the movie, Harry and Sally are just friends, they talk about relationship problems and bedroom conquests, and spend lots of time together. But the movie asks the question: can a man and a woman ever be just friends? Here’s what they discuss early in the movie:

So can a man and a woman be just friends? I do have guys who are just friends, but I’m sure that the existence of their girlfriends/fiancées helps to keep things strictly platonic. But that’s pretty characteristic for my experience as a single adult – just trying to escape the friend zone. Others are content with being just friends and would prefer to keep it that way, but some people in their lives are making it a little difficult.

What anecdote characterizes your experience as a single adult?

Link’s Golden Advice for Single Guys

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