Ever since my staff found out that I have yet to have a first kiss, the topic has found itself as the center of conversation on multiple occasions. Fortunately a few of the girls understand my perspective and recognize that I’m just waiting for the right guy to come along. They see nothing strange about not wanting to kiss some random guy on the street corner on a Saturday night. Others, however, don’t get it quite yet. One of the guys [jokingly?] considers it his obligation as a man to ensure that I have my first kiss by the end of the summer. Interactions with him have been rather awkward at times, to say the least. Other times, however, I relish the opportunity to take control of the joke (rather than be the butt of it) and tease him about his ideas of obligation and the title of “creeper” I have given him. Another person asked if I am saving my first kiss for my wedding day, perhaps a la the Duggar family of TLC’s “18 Kids and Counting”.

After last night’s duty shift and one round of mafia at 1:30 am, conversation evolved into somewhat of an interrogation consisting of question after question about kissing and relationships, all directed at me. Have you ever had a boyfriend? Would you kiss a guy who has kissed other girls before? What if he’s not a virgin? Then they started asking rather ridiculous questions specific to Mr. Creeper, who in fairness is an okay guy despite the title. Would you kiss a guy who is half-black, half-Mexican (which he isn’t. Rather the question was asked by a co-worker’s Visiting Ladyfriend, who apparently was misinformed)? What about someone who is wearing a green shirt, jeans, and Chucks the night that you kiss him?

Visiting Ladyfriend said my first kiss should just be a drunken mistake so I can get in some practice. Call me idealist or too traditional, but that’s not what I want. Her manfriend asked if I drink, to which I said no. Visiting Ladyfriend called my sobriety my “first mistake”. I accepted her comments and judgments solely for their entertainment value.

Then they proceeded to ask about my criteria for a guy I would kiss. I’m still not sure if they were asking out of curiosity or to calculate their odds of making out before the end of the summer. My mind went through my “list” – an actual written list of carefully considered qualities I’m looking for in a guy. Since I’m not planning on kissing just anybody, I suppose kissing and dating criteria are one in the same. Topping the list is strong Christian faith, no question. Cultural sensitivity is also pretty important to me, along with honesty, humor, the ability to maintain conversation, compassion, and a few other qualities.

Before the end of the night, I was called a “rarity”, an “anomaly”, and “straight out of the book” (referring to Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris, author of the ever popular I Kissed Dating Goodbye). I was presented with hypothetical (or “hypothetical” and not so subtle?) situations such as “What if you meet a guy – maybe you work with him – and you really hit it off, but he’s not an ‘active’ Christian?” There were other questions like, “Have you ever really liked a guy and been tempted to kiss him?” (to which I say, I may be conservative and traditional, but I am human. And there’s nothing inherently evil about kissing or intimacy, but rather the opposite. It’s supposed to be something special, something that I don’t want to share with just anyone). The whole conversation was rather amusing, though not entirely enjoyed, but thought-provoking at least. I was grateful for the distraction of impromptu waltz lessons that drew everyone’s attention away from the conversation at hand. I’m inclined to think I haven’t seen the end of this conversation.


8 thoughts on “Mr. Creeper and Visiting Ladyfriend on Relationships

  1. Interesting. You don't drink? Like, at all? Why not? And as for your kiss, save it! Not that I thought these people had an effect on you, but I just want to encourage you. It's good to wait and will mean more. Hold out. In a culture where people are sleeping together left and right, you are a rare gem. Men like gems.

  2. No, I don't drink. Not really. I've tasted wine and a bit of beer, both at home. None of it has appealed to my taste buds. I've never drank enough to know how alcohol affects my behavior, and I'd prefer not to find out in public. Plus, alcohol can be expensive! I think I might use an open bar at a wedding to find out if I like a drink or not. I'm told I would like Sex on the Beach (the drink, that is).

  3. You'll like it. I mean, I've never had a Sex on the Beach, but I enjoy fruity drinks. I like martinis too. I was hesitant to drink in public as well. I only really allow myself one drink when I'm out with friends. I don't drink often because it is expensive, but there are some things I've acquired a taste for. I'd say your best bet would be at a wedding or with friends you trust. There ain't no shame in that!

  4. Cindy… I just love you so much. i love your thoughts, standards, and persona. Keep it up babe.This reminds me of many-a-conversation in Lottie.

  5. I just read this post….2 years later (thanks for the link!) Well-written (as usual) and fun to read. That sounds like it could have been a frustrating or tiring conversation, I have no doubt you handled it with grace. You have excellent standards and your sense of self is extremely respectable. I hope your coworkers haven’t worn you down with all that silly talk. I’m sure it doesn’t need to be said, but sobriety is never a mistake! Sometimes people confuse the refusal of alcohol as the inability to relax, let loose, and enjoy ones self. It sounds like you intrigued them and provoked in them curiosity…even if they did get a little carried away with the questioning.
    You are God’s child and from what I have seen it is quite evident that you live as such…and that can be a difficult thing to understand for those who have never known such a way. Don’t back down! It is about pleasing God, not pleasing people! :-)
    “But my righteous one shall live by faith.”
    “For we are the temple of the living God.”

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